I was just sitting here thinking about a conversation that I had with a friend of mine. Does anyone else out there feel like they are in a spiritual fog? The only way I can describe it would be that I feel like someone is pouring sand on top of me and I want to dig my way out, but I really just don't have the will or energy to do that! I don't know if this makes any sense to anyone else, but I just felt the need to write this.
I'm sure our health issues for the last 5 months have not helped things, in fact I'm sure it has a lot to do with how I feel. After a while you just get tired of the same ol' routine of wondering what's wrong with your kids, going to the doctor, researching how to get them better, putting all your energy into taking care of sick kids, standing in line forever at pharmacies and then being treated rudely, trying to play catch-up with all the chores that you've gotten behind on...then finally feeling like your starting to get a little control again and the cycle starts over! I'm trying not to sound pitiful, but by golly I guess I just am! I just feel like screaming...HELP!!! And the funny thing is there's not really anything anyone can do to help! I guess this is a very good lesson in depending on God in our every need, but sometimes I am just not very good at that! Once again my lack of patience seems to get the best of me.
The boys Pneumonia is all clear -yeah! They do still have their ear infections, so we're working on still getting completely rid of those. Jonah is going to a Pediatric GastroInterologist soon, because he has had mild, chronic diarrhea for a couple of months now, that we or our doctor can't seem to figure out. He's done some tests, but nothing has come out positive so we're moving on to a specialist. Please pray for him. He just really needs healing in his body right now, and we would really appreciate your prayers. I think my brain is tired of thinking about what it could be, and I think I've searched every nook and cranny on the internet for answers. I just need to leave it in the Lord's hands, because I think it weighs on me more than I know.
...It really feels good to get all that out in writing.
3 comments:
Oh, sister! I am praying for you. The circumstances are not at all the same but my crying baby that just won't sleep during the day has put me in just about the same place. I just don't have as good of a reason! Praying for a lighter load and some answers!
Mandy, I do understand how you are
feeling. After going through this
kind of experience, it isn't erased with time. I'm just so glad
that you can put it out there; it will help you and help others to know that we all have times like
you are going through. I never found satisfactory answers, but I
can say that Hope and Prayer helped me. You are loved. Ganmama
Mandy, I'm sorry you are struggling right now. There is no reason to wonder why, you have had an overload and it is normal. Sometimes when we are in that spiritual fog (and we all have experienced it) we need those who love us to stand in the gap for us. You have many people who love you and more than willing to do that. Just try and feel the comfort from the prayers of those who are standing in the gap for you, and forget the answers right now. Rest in the knowlege that you are a child of God and how very much He loves you. Love you always.
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